To my fellow DTC/LID'ers - time really does fly

Those of us with a DTC or LID associated with our name (yes I think my name is Kelly DTC 8/16/06 - like a sci-fi movie) are looking at a year plus until we see the face of our angel. A bit disappointing since the wait was 7-8 months (LID to referral) when we started our process. So it got me thinking, what were we doing a year ago - how long does a year feel? And it hit me - a year ago this week we tried our second invitro. It seems like yesterday. The day I went for my bloodwork to check if I was pregnant was one of the most difficult days of my life. I knew before I went that it didn't work and after the blood draw, before we knew the results, I sat in my car and cried like I have never cried. I called Mike sobbing uncontrollably. He tried to be positive, "Kelly you don't know it didn't work - just wait until we get the results". But I knew - I can't explain it. He was so sweet, telling the office to call him and leave a message on his voicemail so we could listen together like we did the first time. We felt either way, we wanted to be together when we got the results. This time, they didn't leave a message but kept calling until he picked up and before he could say our request to have it on voicemail, they told him "I'm sorry to tell you, the results were negative - no pregnancy". Mike came home, looked at me and melted into tears. I had already had my meltdown so I was able to comfort him now.

The next day I announced to Mike that I couldn't do invitro again without adopting first. We still have embryos frozen (again like a sci-fi movie) but I can't do it again, not until we already have a child. The pressure, stress, it's so difficult. I'm not sharing all of this so anyone feels sad for us - many of you have been in the same exact situation. My point to all of this is that it was a year ago! Is seems like yesterday. Time really does fly. And now we're paperwork pregnant, pregnant for the first time - I even think I'm glowing! So our gestation period is a little longer than a normal pregnancy.

Think about where you were a year ago. If you have a DTC or LID associated with your name, chances are some part of adoption was in your life at this time last year. In September 2005, we were closing one door and investigating another. We took a little time to "mourn" the failure of our invitro, enjoyed the holidays, looked into adoption options (I actually read "Adoption for Dummies"), started investigating agencies, talked to adoptive families and discussed our financial situation (our invitos were all out of pocket - no insurance help). So yes, we're just waiting for our LID but the way I look at it, we are a year into this adoption process and have a little over a year to go - so we're half way there, not just starting at our LID. And if you count since we started trying to get pregnant, we're actually 5 1/2 years into it and only a year to go. At least this time I KNOW it will happen - we WILL have a child!

Maybe this is just a pep talk to myself but thought I'd share my own pep talk with you guys. So hang in there, time really does fly!