There is only an hour left in 2007 and what began as a year of expected hardship of waiting for Mia is ending with a goodnight kiss for our son Zane! There is no way I saw this coming! As I read my last post of 2006, just one year ago, we were excited about being logged in but had realized 2007 would not bring Mia's referral. We thought this Christmas would be the last without her and now we are sure we will be without her again next Christmas. Do I dare say we will be with her Christmas of 2009? But to have Zane for this Christmas, the joy is overwhelming!
So much has happened this year. In January, we brought JinMei here for successful heart surgery - we helped change a life and she changed mine! In March, Mike and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary; what a special feeling. In June, we gave IVF one final try - unsuccessful again. In July, we got back to the Keys (my favorite place) - an annual trip that hasn't been so annual recently; and my best friend from college (who also struggled with infertility) gave birth to a son. This was the month that we started to look into the option of a domestic adoption - a scary feeling when so much can go wrong. September, we headed to Vegas for the first time; a pretty good place to head when it's your last trip without being parents, even though we didn't know that at the time! Little did we know this very weekend a teenage girl was looking at our photo album, trying to decide between us and another couple for the placement of her son. September 17th, we met Zane - although still invitro. Meeting his birthmom was the most surreal, wonderful day. I think the only day that has beat it was Zane's actual birth day. I can't even describe the feelings we have had from September 17th to now. I do not have the words to express it all. Of course, Zane was born October 22nd - without a doubt the greatest day of my life. Since then we have celebrated his first Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. And in November, for our Mia news, we finally made it out of the Review Room!! The last two+ months have been a blur - a wonderful, sleep deprived, exhilarating blur!
2007 - we had no idea it would bring us a son. How wonderful it is. Yet this plan, God knew all along. He told me to be patient and have faith. I can't not try to wrap up 2007 by starting with January 2007 but I have to go back to 2001 when we first decided to try to start a family. The road has not always been easy but we did it together and with a lot of prayer. Infertility is a quiet "illness". So many feelings of embarrasment, inadequacy, jealousy; all rotten, silly feelings but they happen. My mom thanked me the other day for never giving up. I told her God made it in my heart to be a mother - giving up was never an option. So 2007 brings the end of being childless. How joyous it is. All this being said, we still have a sad place - waiting for Mia. But God told us to be patient and have faith - that patience and faith brought us Zane, it will surely bring us Mia.
Happy New Year everyone! I'm so excited about 2008!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
I have failed at blogging recently - this motherhood stuff is very time consuming! But, as they say, it's the best job I've ever had! Christmas was such a blessing. It is still so unbelievable that we woke up on Christmas morning and were able to celebrate it with our son! Of course he had no idea what was going on but we sure had fun opening his presents! We thought of Mia as well but it's easier knowing she probably isn't even born yet. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I'm so excited about 2008!