Zane is Two!


Chinese folklore says there is an invisible red thread connecting those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break. * Follow along with us as we unravel our red thread as it leads us to our first daughter, Mia Jade waiting for us somewhere is China. * During our wait for Mia Jade, our journey took us on a detour for the domestic adoption of our son Zane. This is also his story.


I can't believe I am posting this. It's been 3 years (on the 12th) since our paperwork was logged in to CCAA. Never did I actually believe it would take this long and still there is no end in sight. My agency even says there is no way of knowing if we will get a referral next year or not. At this point I certainly feel we have another year or two of waiting. It's very frustrating, depressing, even stressful. I'm not sure what else to say.
I feel like all of my posts these days are negative news about "the wait" but "the wait" just hit the 3 year mark for those logged in March 2006 - it's looking more like we will be waiting at least 4 years. I never though that would really happen. Also, we went through all of February without any referrals. Yes, referrals just came out early in March so we may see a second set in March but who knows. And for 2 referral batches in 2009, they have covered 6 days - 2 of which fell on the weekend. So where is that positive wind that we heard was blowing?
The first referrals of the new year are out and it covers 2 days, March 1 & 2, 2006. I don't have much to say about that except I hope it's the last 2 day batch we see. I hope they can get through March within 6 months. I'm optimistic that it will pick up after March 2006 are done. From everything I have seen, it is a very big month. But then again, every time I'm optimistic, I get disappointed. Congrats to all those who have received the gift of their new child!
I'm not the party type on New Year's Eve but I do like to look back and reflect on the 12 months that have past. 2008 has been full of wonderful firsts with Zane...first tooth, first words, first steps, first haircut, first birthday and a ton of other firsts in between. This year has been so much fun! I love being a mom and love Zane more than any love than I've ever known. Zane is obviously the 'theme' of 2008. While nationally and in our own lives there has been financial struggles (we even paid for more than $4/gallon for gas!) we hardly noticed with the joy that Zane has brought us daily. We know how blessed we are and we thank and praise God every day for His gracious gift of Zane to us.
Today a second December batch appeared and included those through February 28, 2006! I'm so excited for these families. So that gets us to March - unfortunately a HUGE month of dossiers. It may take 6 months or more to get through all of March '06. But one step closer and the good news, we are less than 200 referral days away. Officially 196 days. One more milestone.
I make a safe assumption that the referrals for 2008 have come to an end. As I count up the number of LID days given referrals for the year, I see it is a total of 66 days - just over 2 months. Ugh. There are all kinds of ways to look at our progress (or lack of) but this is the most relatable to watch our progress toward the front of the line. We are still just over 200 referral days out. 66 days in a year... do you see where I'm going with this. It's hard not to get frustrated. Another Christmas, another birthday, another day, month, year without Mia. I continue to have faith in God's plan but it can be trying at times. I can hear myself telling people when we started about how stable China's adoption program is. Ha. I have heard so many rumors, so many theories, so many predictions and no answers. It's very defeating to know we are looking at a new year and basically zero chance of seeing Mia in 2009, even unsure it will be in 2010. But I do see beautiful new referral pictures each month, tuck my son in bed every night and know it's the right thing for us to continue this wait.
I'm feeling a bit down about our wait for Mia. Referrals have not picked up since the Olympics, the total numbers for adoptions over the year is the lowest its been in years and we just passed 2 years waiting with no end in sight. The last batch only covered 2 days and March '06 (the month they are entering for referrals) is one of the biggest months there has been. It could take most if not all of 2009 just to get through the month. We could be waiting another 2-3 years. I never imagined this is what the wait would be. Ugh.
I just realized the long delay in posting - I've been so busy! At the same time, I'm almost ignoring "the wait" for Mia. There has been no good indication from recent referral batches that there will be any speed up in referrals. In fact, the last batch was only 2 days - a low point also seen in April 2007. So many have thought the slow down was associated with the Olympics but maybe once again that thought was wrong. We have made progress 2+ years into our wait for Mia but looking at another 2 or longer years of waiting. Ugh. But we have Zane and we are so very blessed with him in our lives - he is the center of our life!
I'm sending out a prayer requests for my friend Carole's son who was in a tragic accident this past weekend. He is an adorable 3 1/2 year old that they brought home from Ethiopia just a few weeks ago. You can visit her blog at http://paul-samuelphillipson.blogspot.com. They are a wonderful family that need much support and prayers right now.
With the latest referral batch, Mike and I have 209 referral days between most recent batch (2/15/06) to our LID (9/12/06). When we started, back in fall of 2006 we had 417 days between the batch and our LID. So mathematically we are half way there. Does that mean time wise we are also half way there? The big question. Either way, I know God has a plan as He did with Zane. But another milestone to mark off, we'll take it! Besides, Zane is keeping us VERY busy. I don't know if I could handle another one right now!!
We just pasted our 2 year 'anniversary' of our LID. Who would have known that 2 years into our wait, we still wouldn't have an end in sight. But as I have said before, if it weren't for the crazy long wait for Mia, we would not have Zane. God really knows what he's doing! This 'anniversary' passed with little to no fanfare...not sure if we should celebrate it or ignore it.
I just realized how long it's been since I have posted! Life has been pleasantly quiet recently. Zane is doing new things every day, getting very close to crawling, and we continue to pray for Mia and her journey to our family. I do the math almost every day to try to figure out how long our wait will be and it just gives me a headache!
One of my favorite places in the world is the beach. We are so lucky to be able to live just a few blocks away, in walking distance. At half tide, our beach has tidal pools, perfect for a 7 month old to splash about in. I just love this photo that my mom took. It's mid-splash and Zane has learned quickly to close his eyes and mouth. I am still so amazed that this beautiful child is in our lives - heck, IS our life - and playing in the same tidal pools that I played in at his age. He brings so much joy to the smallest discoveries.

I know we are still a loooong way away from our referral date but it's comforting to know that they are finally in 2006, our referral year. For the first time in a long time I feel like we are making progress. Ironically this week also marks 3 anniversaries for us - 2 years since we received our orientation paperwork from CCAI, 1 1/2 years since our LID and 6 months since we found out we were chosen for Zane! I must admit, I thank God for "the wait", thank God for Zane! He really does have a plan and it all happens in His timing!

There is only an hour left in 2007 and what began as a year of expected hardship of waiting for Mia is ending with a goodnight kiss for our son Zane! There is no way I saw this coming! As I read my last post of 2006, just one year ago, we were excited about being logged in but had realized 2007 would not bring Mia's referral. We thought this Christmas would be the last without her and now we are sure we will be without her again next Christmas. Do I dare say we will be with her Christmas of 2009? But to have Zane for this Christmas, the joy is overwhelming!
I am so excited to say that our dossier is out of review! CCAA announced they are through 9/30/06. What a milestone! I never really had any fears that we would be rejected or questioned because CCAI (our agency) did such a good job getting our dossier ready but still it is a HUGE relief to know that someone in China has actually looked at and approved our dossier. Even though we still have a loooong wait ahead, at least we are moving to the matching room. I am so happy that I am in tears!!!!! We are one step closer to Mia Jade!!!
I'm so excited for my friend Donna & her family who received their referral for her beautiful daughter Lainey! To visit her blog & see her picture go to Handsful. I'm especially excited because not only is Donna in my favorite Yahoo group but she also lives in the same town as us so she can be friends with Mia Jade! Congratulations again!!
With everything going so smoothly with Zane, we have to take a moment to focus on Mia Jade. Our all important 171H, the document from Homeland Security that says we can bring an orphan to the US, is about to expire - in January technically. Our agency says to start now if we want to renew it. The government has allowed one free renewal of the almost $700 application. But the problem is even our agency doesn't think we will get Mia within the 18 month time frame of the new form. The problem with the "free" renewal is that all the supporting documents are not free. So do we spend the money to get a free renewal that won't do us any good (probably) or let it expire and start all over when we know it will be the document that we really need? Either way will cost a lot more money! It's very frustrating to know what to do. But as I said, everything is great with Zane. We count our blessings evey day! We won't let this 171H thing get us too down!

Oh, thank you for the comment from Joce on my last post; I forgot to share his name! We are naming him ZANE! (Middle name still to be determined.) Zane was our front runner for a name and then I picked up a baby book and they gave the meaning as "God's gracious gift". That's all it took! What else is he but our gracious gift from our gracious God! So Zane it is!
All is going well with our domestic adoption - our birthmom is 35 and a half weeks along and is due November 3rd. That's in One Month!! I've been able to go to her last two OB/gyn appointments and the baby seems perfect. My mom was even able to go to one appointment, so she had a chance to meet her as well. She is such a sweet girl. I still can't believe this is all happening. It hasn't quite sunk in yet!

Today is our year anniversary of our LID. I think I would be more excited if we didn't have another 1 1/2-2 years of waiting. But it is something I guess. We are one year closer to finally having a child in our lives.
Last year some local volunteers joined together and started a group called A Heart for China with the goal to bring one girl named JinMei from China to Jacksonville for lifesaving heart surgery. A group called Patrons of the Heart provided all the healthcare including the surgery as long as we got her here and provided for her needs during her stay. She had successful surgery last January. (If you look back in my blog, you can see photos and my posts from that time.) We now have another girl scheduled to come in October named Xianbei (pictured here - on the right). Patrons of the Hearts once again will be providing her surgery and they (her mom and the same translator Matthew) will be staying at the Ronald McDonald House. We are currently raising funds for their travel and stay. Please visit A Heart for China for more information on how to help. We have a lot of work to do between now and October! Thank you!!
Talk about seeking out milestones - we are finally under 300 days between the latest referral date, now November 21, 2005 and our LID of September 12, 2006. Technically 295 days. At a 7 day/month referral rate, we only have 42 more months. Just kidding; they will eventually speed up - right? Our other milestone is that it was one year ago that we were done paperchasing and sent our completed dossier to CCAI, our agency, for final review and translation. How things have changed in a year. A 14 wait a year ago has turned into 20 months and all signs are leaning to 2-3 year wait. But at least we are a year closer.
I may not have kids but I do have a spoiled baby - our dog! I was just saying yesterday how you can't see dogs' personalities in pictures and then I took this one today that is as close as I can get. Here is Harman. Harman loves his toys. So much so that he often walks around with more than one in his mouth but today I witnessed as he wandered around the house collecting not one, not two, not three, but four toys to carry around. It was very tricky for him to pick up each one without dropping the others but he succeeded. What a silly boy!
I have made a couple of fun purchases in the last few days - as if we were preparing for a baby. First, I bought a trio of baby carriers from a lady I met online. She used them with her two from China. One is a baby bjorn, one is a sling type carrier and the third, a seat to use on the plane. I will post pictures when I get them!
This week we pasted our 10 month mark since our LID - and it's looking like it will be another 20-26 months wait. Unbelievable. I really never thought it would come to this but that's what all the signs are pointing to. Because of that, we are looking into another adoption while we wait. I am gathering a lot of information and making a lot of contacts. I'm not sure what path God will lead us but keep watching! Wouldn't it be fun to have a brother or sister waiting for Mia with us!
I got such a great surprise the other day when I opened my email - it was a email from a boyfriend of mine in college! Someone I haven't had any contact with for 15 years - wow, I'm getting old! In a conversation with a family member of his, my name came up, so he Googled me and found this blog! Google is amazing! He sent me the sweetest email, about how he was moved by our journey and that his prayers are with us! When I started this blog it was mostly to keep family members and friends up to date with what was going on. Little did I know how many others I would meet, or be reunited with, through this little hobby of mine! Danny, it is so great to be in contact with you again!
The last couple of weeks have been pretty tough - my office has experience two unexpected deaths of associates of our office in the span of 10 days. Both were unusual events; both made the local news. I find myself searching the internet, the newspaper, watching the news to learn about what happened. When did it happen? How did it happen? What were the circumstances that lead to both of their deaths? Both men in their early 40's. One, a bizarre car accident - sitting still at a stop sign and another driver, stone sober, took his eyes off the road for a second, ran off the road and t-boned our friend, killing him instantly. The other, an unbelievable shooting incident. I scan the newspaper for answers, as the stories literally went from headline news to the back page of the metro section in a day and I realized my questions were not going to be answered. I knew now when, pretty much how, but the answer I don't have, and won't find on First Coast News or in the Times Union is WHY. Why did both these men die in such freak incidents so suddenly. I'm not usually a why person. I believe God has a plan and things happen for a reason but sometimes you can't help but to ask, "why?" Larry & Tim, you will be missed.
This poem was on my ladybug yahoo group board (the BEST group around) and I thought it went along very nicely with my post from June 8th. Enjoy.